Visit from the in-laws

Chris has two sets of parents.  One of those sets is visiting today. They don't live nearby and rarely, i mean rarely visit us. In fact, this will only be the second time they have ever been to our home in the 18 years we've been married.  And for about eight years of our married life they only lived two hours away. 

When I was a kid our grandparents came to see us as well as us visiting them, it went both ways.  I loved the time spent with them and even though they have all passed away now I have memories of time spent with them that will forever stay with me. 

So i guess I feel a little sad for these grandparents of my children that are coming today.  Chris' parents are excited to see our girls. Our girls don't know if they are excited or not because they barely know them. And you know how kids are, that is going to come through loud and clear when they see them. Awkward embraces, one word answers to their questions, fake smiles. I can see it happening already. 

But I am glad these parents are making an effort. It's the most effort they have made in probably forever and I hope that they see how important it is to stay connected. I believe in family.  I believe in putting forth the effort to keep family close. I also believe that you can spend wasted time trying to keep that connection alive. I reached a point about eight years ago when I decided that I was done trying to keep the bond strong between my husband's parents and our nuclear family. It wasn't coming from Chris and it wasn't coming from his parents so why was I trying? I was trying because of our girls. But then I realized one day that it was really the adults in the picture that were going to lose out. I mean, my girls have three other sets of grandparents besides the ones showing little to no interest. They were not going to miss out from me taking a step back and letting that relationship take it's course. So i did. And now they barely know them anymore.

It's not very often that I speak candidly about personal things relating to family. But today I felt like I should. If you have a family member that ten years from now you will regret not being closer with, then call them. Pick up the phone and call.  You will probably be glad you did.