Yesterday I had the opportunity to go with Emma's 5th grade class to see the Oregon Children's Theatre producton of Gossamer. Based on the book by Lois Lowry, Gossamer is the story of Dreamgivers and how they help a young boy and those associated with him. The book is excellent and a good choice for older elementary age children and middle schoolers. Like Lois Lowry's other novels, Gossamer, deals with deep, thought provoking issues. This one happens to be about the abuse that parent's inflict on a young child. In the course of the book we find out that the child's father gave him dog food to eat and wouldn't feed him anything else until he had eaten the dog food. Appalling? Of course. What was interesting to me was the discussion that was held at the end of the play.
When the play was over a man came out and asked a few questions of the audience. "Stand up if you believe the boy should forgive his mother." Almost everyone in the audience stood up, including teachers. Then he said, "Stand up if you believe the boy should forgive his father." Very few stood up. It was interesting, albeit not surprising that very few stood up. What did surprise me though was that the same teachers that believed in forgiveness for the mother did not believe in forgiveness for the father. Yes, what he did was awful. Some may even use the term "unforgiveable." But the lesson I want to teach my children is that we still need to forgive. We don't need to forget how the boy was hurt and it doesn't mean that forgiving his father means the boy needs to spend more time time with him or any at all for that matter. But forgiveness means getting rid of the anger in your heart and wishing happiness/change for the other person. This can be difficult but I believe attainable.
Emma and I had a nice chat after the play was over. She is so smart, this is what she said, "Yeah, I didn't stand up when they asked if he should forgive his dad, but that is wrong. He should forgive them, we should always forgive, that's what Jesus taught us to do."
13 comments:
You are a good Mom. That play sounds intense! Wow, it is so hard to be Christ like sometimes, but you are so right. We must forgive everybody or it keeps us in chains. Not a good feeling.
Wow---great play and a great teaching experience! Yes, we must always forgive, as hard as it is...because it frees our spirit! Thanks for sharing this...always a good reminder. :-)
What a great chance to have a learning moment with your daughter. I love when those teaching moments come and you get to share the experience with your child.
Sara Chadwick
It's nice that you got to go with Emma and be there to discuss your feeling and thoughts together. That's what being a good mom is all about:)
I've always believed that not forgiving the abuser gives them continued power over you by keeping you bound to that time via your feelings. So forgiving them gives you freedom from them as well. You are no longer weighed down by their mistakes. I agree with you though that forgiveness does NOT mean putting yourself in harm's way again (and I think this is what many people don't realize). Also, forgiveness of this level isn't something you can do on your own usually...however Christ stands there willing and able to help and He can and will help you to forgive. Truly with and through Him all things are possible.
What a good learning experience for your daughter. Not forgiving makes it more painful for ourselves than the offender sometimes.
A good lesson for all of us. Thank you for sharing this.
Hi, I'm friends with Hailey. I saw that you had a post about Gossamer. I am a 5th grade teacher. I read the book to my class and we went to the play. I liked it. The topic of abuse was pretty mature for 5th grade. Our 4th graders went too. Our principal got several parent complaints about the decision to go.
I also thought the discussion questions at the end were interesting. It seems that many kids would keep their friends' secret of abuse. It was an important conversation to have.
That is quite the deep conversation for elementary school kids. That is a tough one to try to teach that kind of forgiveness, although it sounds like Emma is far beyond her years of doctrine.
P.S. Can I get that caramel recipe? I want to make caramel apples again pretty soon.
Yep, your daughter is brilliant!!! Good for her!!!
Wow! That is deep. And I agree with Melissa; we definitely need the Savior! Emma is amazing, but then again, she has an amazing mother. :-)
How interesting and what good insight your daughter has. I've not read this book, but I'll have to add it to my list.
Sounds like an interesting play. Thanks for the reminder that we need to forgive and get rid of the anger in our hearts. It really does hurt US not the person we are angry with. Such a good message. Thanks, friend.
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