Why I blog

Through blogging I have learned that I am not a freakish sort of person.  My husband, at times, would like me to believe that I am.  I do things like starting a sentence and just stopping midway through.  Which results in him saying, "yes?" "Continue."  It frustrates him that I do this to him and to our girls.  But I have learned through blogging that I am not alone in this. 

Or there is the feeling of self-doubt that creeps up on me, making me feel that I am not as loved as others, even sending me in to a depression.  But, through reading blogs like this one, I have learned that I am unique. That just because I may not be invited to go camping with a group of friends does not mean I don't have something to offer in this world in the way of friendship.

And then there is the topic of housecleaning. Oh, I hate that word. It is something that I'm not really good at.  Always trying to be better and trying to not pass on the same dislike to my children.  Do you know how crazy it makes me to walk into all of my friend's homes and see them looking so good?  I rejoice when I see that they need to clean their toilets. How terrible is that?  But we all like to know that we are not alone.  So when I read this post from my friend Amanda I honestly understood her thoughts and smiled in the fact that I was not alone.

Our church is doing "Annie, Get Your Gun." Emma wanted to audition for it so before she did we rented the movie and watched it together. As I was watching the movie my eyes were glued to the t.v. set like I was watching a train wreck. I sat there in shock as I watched this musical glorify the cowboys killing the Indians.  Moreover, it made women look as if they had to downplay their skills in life in order to pad their man's ego.  I was a little surprised that our Stake had chosen this as a play. I took Emma to the audition anyway and while I was there a good friend tried to talk me into trying out myself. I squirmed at her invitation. How could I be part of a play that I saw as completely morally degrading and wrong?  Finally, after hesitating and making a million excuses to her I simply said what I was feeling.  I told her my thoughts and she shared with me, hers.  She later blogged about it.  I loved reading that blog. 

In short, what I'm trying to say is that blogging has helped me see that the things that I think make me different or the shortcomings I have are shared by many other people out there.  I am not a freak who suddenly stops mid-sentence.  Well, maybe I am, but I'm not the only one.  And instead of feeling bad about these things I think that we should be happy that they make us who we are. So keep on blogging all of you.  You know who you are. I love it, it helps me see my world through new eyes and to experience a feeling of relief when I find out that I'm not alone.