The Definition of Family

I've realized over the past 20 plus years that the definition of "family" is not the same for all humans. And unfortunately I tend to get my feelings hurt by those that have a different definition than mine. It's pretty dumb that I let it get to me...but it does. 

For me family is not just your spouse and children but all those that you are related to and those that come into the family through marriage. They are relationships not to be taken for granted or lightly. You should be there for one another, support one another and let those feelings of love be known through your words and actions. 

Which is why for me it is hurtful to have family members come into town and not call or make an effort to see you. It's like they are saying they don't have time for you, you aren't important in their life. For a very long time I lived life by my definition. And then I found it was too much being the one that was reaching out all the time just to not have that love returned. We have all had that one friend who did all the taking while we were doing the giving. It gets old. Tiresome. You feel let down and eventually that friendship wanes away. 

Unfortunately I've seen that happen with family members. Where there used to be close ties because I was trying so hard to hold it together there is now close to nothing because I stopped. It was very one-sided. And was it worth it to stop trying? For me it was. For my children? I'm not sure. My children don't even know these family members any longer. 

There are others though that my children do know. That I'm getting tired of them not putting forth any effort to spend time with us. We always travel to them. Last summer we had family that came to stay for two months nearby and never came to visit us. We were of course welcome to travel to see them but despite our invitations they did not have time to come see us at our home or even meet us somewhere in town. 

We even live in the same town as the major airport. Family members fly in and out through it. But there is never a phone call to say, "hey, can you meet for lunch" " I'll be in town, can we get together?" Yet when I go to other cities where there is family I try to visit all my family that I can. That's the catch, huh? It's my definition of what family is compared to others'. 

And it's not the same. 

One thing is for sure though. I can love my immediate family and give 100% of my love to those extended family that want it. I have a lot to offer.