Doors

I can't help but think about how strange it feels to walk in this door. It's been so long since I've been here. I open the door and as I enter the hallway I hear it. Irish dance music. What was once a huge part of my daughters life has now taken a back burner. And it's hard for me. I support her and feel she is choosing great things. It's still hard. I miss her constant dancing in our house and in the aisles of the grocery store. I miss the dance floor that used to cover our living room floor. I miss my Irish dance family. 

Emma used to have a dream of competing at worlds. It became my dream too, to accompany her on that trip.  Now I get to look back on the Oireachtas and think of the stress, lack of sleep and good times we had and be so grateful she had that opportunity. Because I don't know if she'll go again.  

But where one door closes another opens so I look ahead with anticipation at the new things she is delving into. 

I Caved

Today is one of those days where you just feel like crying.  You know those days.  It can be over the simplest thing, something dumb even.  But it happens and you feel the tears welling in your eyes and you think, seriously?

For me it's the accumulation of a lot of difficult stuff going on with my eldest plus too much work at the moment that i'm behind in, not realizing my best friend from Germany was flying in on Tuesday instead of Wednesday and then to top it all off, Emma's Irish dance teacher not being very kind.  It's the last thing on the list that tipped me off today.  I was sucking it in pretty well, holding it together, but then the text from her teacher came and I lost it.  Started crying.  I hate that.

What do you do when you feel like life is caving in?

I am looking forward to my class reunion this weekend.  Not necessarily to see everyone.  The people I want to see I see anyway.  But it will be a blast to see all my besties from HS in one place.  I sure love these people and i'm so glad for the roots that I have of growing up in a small coastal town.  No better place.  Seriously.

So here is to Quinn, Tonya, Michelle and Butch and my sister Krista that will make my life a wee bit better this weekend.  I can't wait to see you all!