A table good enough to sleep on

Recently my sister gave me this tablecloth.  It was love at first sight.  And then, when I put it on my table, I wanted to lay on top of it and wrap myself up in it, pretending it was a new sheet on my bed.  You know how new sheets are, glorious and lovely, you want to stay in bed forever.  Well, I want to sit at my table forever. 

I just love it.

Thanks, Krista!

Great Day = today!

I have been so excited the past couple days.

It's because I get to do one of my favorite things....ever.

I get to research airline tickets to CANCUN.

Yay!

Not that i haven't spent time researching it already....

because I have.

But this time it's different because when I find just the right price/schedule....

I'm BUYING it.

And to top it all off, it's a sunny day here in Oregon!

Oh, and to doubly top if off, my mom is coming to visit me!!!!!!

Anchor

This weekend Krista, heidi and I walked the docks in Charleston, Oregon. As I stepped carefully along the rickety boards I noted the different boats. Some were big, some small, some in better condition than others. There were some that seemed they had had their anchor in the water for a bit too long.  Covered in rust, garbage piled up inside and on the deck, ropes that had been sitting stagnant for far too long. I wondered who owned them and why they weren't being used.  The anchor, it seemed, was good for keeping the boat secure. But if the anchor was never lifted up every once in a while then the boat became so worn out it would be difficult to navigate the waters of the ocean.

This is a metaphor for how I feel.

It seems that every time I return from going out of town or blog about it I get the comment that I "travel a lot" from at least a couple people.

This President's Day weekend I went to Coos Bay to see my Momma and Sister because it seemed like the right thing to do.  It wasn't a trip I planned way in advance. In fact, I planned on being home because Chris was going to be out of town and Makenzie had a ballroom dance performance.  But then, last Sunday, I was laying on the couch in that Sunday stupor of laziness and thought to myself, you should go to Coos Bay.  I talked it over with Chris and Makenzie and they agreed, I should go.

Fast forward 7 days to this past Sunday and I am sitting in sacrament meeting when a friend I have known my whole life, turns around and asks me "why" I was in Coos Bay.  Huh?  I looked at my mom, back at her and then said, "well, it was a three day weekend and I wanted to come see mom."  It just seemed obvious to me.  What came next was, "you leave home a lot."

I was telling my sister that I can't quite figure out what people mean when they say this to me.  There have been times that the comment seems almost like an accusation.  The first time that occured I brushed it off.  But since it has happened more and more frequently in my life I have to wonder if there is something to this.

But this is what I know:  I am a better person because I travel. A better mom. A better wife.  I need my breaks. And I need them more than once a year.

There was a time, when my children were small, that I only got to go on one weekend trip a year to visit a friend.  This has changed as my children have gotten older and are more independent.

This is also what I know:  We all have our priorities.

People that have asked me how I afford to travel.  Simply, look at my house.  I have the same original 70s (albeit in good condition darn it) vinyl on my floors.  Many a person would have "updated" by now. Not me, I spend my money on gas to visit my mom.  Or on gas money to take my middle daughter to an Irish dance competition in Utah. My priority is providing experiences for myself and my family during this time here on earth. The money that I spent in Ukraine last spring could definitley have provided the pergola I want on my back porch. And some people would have chosen that Pergola. That's fine. I did not.

Perhaps people are making the comment to me because they are jealous.  That was my sister's thought. If someone is jealous of that then maybe their spirit is telling them to take flight every once in a while.  It's okay to do, you know.

I also know when to say no to traveling.  Chris and I were supposed to take a trip to Mexico City last spring. It was planned, we were excited. But for some reason we kept putting off the purchse of those tickets.  So I finally said to Chris, "Let's pray about it." And we did and we got the answer to not go. Chris' brother was disappointed to not have us there at their pre-wedding party but understood.  You know what happened?  The Swine Flu broke out and they were barely able to leave the house and they almost wouldn't let my brother-in-law into the temple for his soon-to-be wife's endowment.  If we had gone it would have equaled = stuck in the house and no temple for us.  We were also supposed to go to Rexburg this weekend for Makenzie's ballroom dance competition.  Last week some things came up and we had to decide if we were going to go or not. We decided to not go. Or at least I decided. I think Chris still may not agree with that decision.  But yesterday I found out that my cousin's son will be receiving his endowment on Saturday at the temple. We love him and it will be really nice to be there for that.

My point is, going places is part of who I am and my personality. The Mindy Gledhill song, Anchor, resonates with me on this very topic.  She sings,

When all the world is spinning round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down 

I am nearly world renowned
As a restless soul who always skips town
But I look for you to come around
And anchor me back down 

The anchor of a ship keeps it from moving too far.  It can still move a little but it's not going to drift away.  My family is like that for me, they keep me grounded, keep me focused on what is important.  Yet, they let me go every once in a while to explore new things and have experiences that will enrich their lives when I return.  I love them for that.  

And I love to see the world.

Emma's 13th Birthday Interview

Emma with her Aunt Sara and cousin, Celeste

What is your favorite TV show?  I like Survivor

What is your favorite movie?  Despicable Me

What is your favorite color?  Anything Neon

What is your favorite food?  I like the Thai Curry dish we had for my birthday dinner tonight.

What is your favorite thing to do with mom? Go shopping

What is your favorite thing to do with dad? Snowboarding

What is your favorite thing to do with your sisters? Goof off

What do you want to be when you grow up?  An architect

Do you have a favorite friend?  Not really

What is your favorite thing to do when you are not at home? Hang out with friends

What is your favorite toy or thing?   My cat and bird

What is your favorite book?  Maximum Ride

What is your favorite animal?  I like all animals

Do you want to go on a mission? Yeah

Do you want kids? Depends on who I marry!

What's hard to do?  Science

What have you learned from your YW leaders this year?   The values

What do you love to do? Irish Dance

Emma, I see so much potential in you.  Potential that you have yet to even discover.  My hope is that you do discover it because once you do you will be unstoppable and unbeatable in whatever you do in life.  I'm proud of you and all the things that you do to help those around you.  You are going to be an amazing Beehive class president, you are a leader even though I think you would rather sit back and follow.  You are a beautiful Irish dancer and I hope that someday we get a chance to go to Worlds together.  That would be amazing.  But, for now, keep working hard at school, that should be your first priority.  I also love how much you love young children.  You are such a good babysitter and will be a very good mom someday.   You are so sweet with your nieces and nephews and they adore you for it.  I love you, Emma.

The Pros and Cons of Valentines Day

I got this idea from Pioneer Woman.  If you have never checked out her blog....you should.

 The Pros:  Creative, fun, diligent, beautiful, graceful, committed.

The Cons:  She'll leave me some day

The pros:  Sense of humor, thinker, gentle, loyal, always barefoot, gorgeous.

The Cons:  She'll leave me some day.

 

  The Pros:  Friend, loving, wild, loud, eats whole tomatoes, pretty

The Cons:  She'll leave me some day.

The Pros:  Wild hair, rustic, Keens, likes me, uses professional hair products, smart, likes chocolate and sushi.

The Cons:  Doesn't like pastel bed sheets or pillowcases.

But he'll never leave me!

The Pros:  Likes to ride horses, is a good boy at the boarders, good kisser, goes to bed on time, sings to me.

The Cons:  Goes potty in inappropriate places

But he'll never leave me either. He doesn't have choice though, I clip his wings!

In honor of Emma's birthday

Single and Sex....the conversation continues

 There has been quite the conversation going on lately in the blogger world.  A conversation about being a single Mormon woman and premarital sex.  The conversation started when this article was posted in the New York Times.  And then C. Jane of C. Jane Enjoy It got on the band wagon and posted her thoughts here.  And then there was perhaps my favorite response here. 

After reading Ms. Hardy's article I felt sad, sad for her that she didn't seem to get it.  She couldn't see the big picture that Ms. Dyer could see.  We are daughters of God.  We are not defined by a man's touch or by the fact that we are married or not.  There may be some of you out there that would say I just don't know.  I don't know what it's like to be a single woman in the LDS church.  And you're right, I don't.  But I do know that I didn't get married so that I can have sex which is what C. Jane purports is the cultural norm of our religion.

She writes, "The lie wasn't being fed to me in the doctrines of Mormonism. This was a cultural deception, full attack on all sides. It told me sex was all there was and if it came with a price--a bad marriage stuffed into a small apartment--it was worth the cost. It told me that no man would care about intelligence when there was a warm body to touch. It told me that a woman was only as good as her successful husband and children. I was disillusioned--in attempting "the dream," I discovered the tragedy."

My dream was and is to spend my life with a good companion.  Someone to talk to, share with, laugh with and yes, love with. And I'm pretty sure that was the reason that my husband wanted to marry me.  It wasn't for the warm body (or was it? wink, wink) That is a benefit to be sure. But I'd like to think that intelligence had something to do with it. The last I heard the motto at BYU was Enter to Learn.....Go forth to Serve.  NOT Enter to Marry....Go forth have sex.   I suspect that most men want to marry someone that is bright and intelligent.

Ms. Hardy suggests in her New York Times article that the reason so many Mormons get married young is because they can't wait to have sex. Surely this isn't the case.  I hope not. I believe the reason that many people get married young (early 20s) in the LDS church is because there is a strong sense of family.

In the face of all this I have been thinking of my girls and wondering what their perceptions are.  I want them to know that they are first and foremost a Daughter of God, heirs to all He has.  I believe in teaching young women (and young men) about temple marriage.  I also want to teach that they are more than a temple marriage. I hope that all teenage girls have a self-esteem that is strong enough to withstand a potential break-up of a marriage.  Or what if marriage does not happen for them?  Will they have a strong enough sense of who they are that they won't feel defined by whether they have been married in the temple or not?  I want them to want a temple marriage. But not wallow in it if it doesn't happen for them right away.  I want them to live life and become the best person that they can be.  Amen.

Valentine Nostalgia

When I was in elementary school Valentines Day was a day I looked forward to with anticipation.  Art time would be spent decorating pouches or boxes for our various red and pink cards.  There was the trip to the store to pick out just the right box mass produced cards to give to your friends (and non-friends).  Your teacher always gave you a list of student names and then you would spend forever pouring over the box of valentines to decide which one was just right for each person.  I would separate mine into piles, the pile that were cuter and sweeter would go to the girls I liked and the occasional boy I thought was cute.  The other pile would go to the snotty girls and the other boys.  They were filled out, put in envelopes and names put on them.  Then the day of the party would come.  Oh, we could barely stand it, the waiting. When our teacher gave the go-ahead we would walk around the room delivering our valentines to the lucky recipients.  After the delivery was completed we would get to open our mailboxes and read our mail, secretly searching to see if you got one from the current crush in your life.  Occasionally there would be a lollipop attached to the valentine which was super cool.  Homemade treats would be delivered to our desks by sweet room mothers and we thought it was the best day of the year. 

That was the extent of our parties.  Not something grand in scheme or sacrifice. Simple, sweet and what I would consider now, old-fashioned.

Let's fast forward 30 years......

In grades K-3 my girls have had parties for Valentines day.  After that, nothing.  Why?  It seems to be a combination of being "fair" to all students and teachers not wanting to bother with it.  Sad.

Luckily, Heidi had a cool teacher last year and she had a party in 4th grade.  This year, in her final year of elementary school I was not to be deterred from having my daughter experience one last youthful Valentines day. She was going to make some valentines and give them away, party or not.  So off to the craft store I went, gathering felt in the colors of love.  There are no class lists because that would be hindering student confidentiality. Nor will there will be store-bought treats (lest they be laced with poison) on Friday distributed by room parents. But Heidi will be handing out a valentine to the kids in her room.

  Heidi's home-made valentines

And I hope it brings a smile to their face like it did to mine 30 years ago.